013 Practising Prioritization, Euro Trip and Artists & Mothers
Your source of inspiration as we navigate the journey of motherhood. Think chicken soup for "mommy brain".
It’s been a minute…! We just got back from our Europe trip, soaking up the second half of my husband’s paternity leave: introducing our baby to France (where he’s from) and Spain (where I spent a lot of time as a child). A trip full of nostalgia, full-circle feelings, and unforgettable moments!
Between the fresh produce (I swear onions in New York don’t make your eyes water?!) and the baby high chairs stationed at every French airport security gate, it was hard not to ask myself whether it was time to make the move to Europe. Timely thoughts, especially with Mother Euro getting featured in The Cut (you heard it here first in my interview with the founders in 008!)
As always, thank you for reading and enjoy the latest. (If you haven’t already, be sure to subscribe below!)
Practising Prioritization
One of the biggest challenges I’ve found since entering motherhood is the constant “pinging and ponging” of my mind, trying to figure out where my attention should go. In talking to other mums, the same feelings come up again and again… that nagging feeling of not doing enough, between socializing, work, baby, family, partner, wellness, and so on.
At first, I tried to lean into multitasking more than ever before (especially as I pride myself on being very good at it!).
But I quickly realized multitasking didn’t make me feel any more on top of things, or present. So I found an alternative:
Mom Math (yes, a simple riff on Girl Math, which I’m obsessed with!)
It’s a reframing exercise that I came up with that has really changed how I approach time. A formulaic way to add some method to the madness, to push back on the overload, the million-miles-an-hour brain, the guilt, the pressure to do all the things.
Because I realized this truth—there are only 168 hours in a week. And recognizing the actuality of that finite number is weirdly calming. It reminded me there’s a boundary and there isn’t infinite time, so why am I trying to behave like there is?
If this resonates at all, you can take this one step further by trying the exercise:
List what you’re trying to fit into each week.
(e.g. work, admin, meals, baby time, socializing, personal time, sleep, travel)Estimate how much time each takes up.
I tried tracking in real time with Toggl, but quickly realized it was impossible. I was bouncing between tasks at lightning speed so instead, I started jotting down rough estimates.
(e.g. work: 30 hours a week, admin/life logistics: 3 hours a day, meals: 2 hours a day, baby time: 5 hours a day, socializing/partner time: 25 hours a week, personal/down time: 10 hours a week, night time (it feels silly to write sleep!): 8 hours a night, travel: 8 hours a week)
… Which comes to 200 hours. An extra day and a half I don’t have, that doesn’t exist. Clear numeric evidence that I was trying to achieve the impossible.
That realization really helped me recalibrate, not just on a daily level, but in the bigger picture. Like Emily Oster says in this interview, she skips kids’ birthday parties to prioritize core family time. For me, that looked like having to miss some friends’ weddings this summer so we could spent quality time with our family in Europe. I also restructured childcare, built in meal prep time, and started using evening hours for focused work while Maelie sleeps.
It’s not perfect, but it’s helped me feel less like I’m spinning, and more like I’m choosing. I’m making a conscious effort to evaluate my time more intentionally, and for the first time in a year, it feels like I’m making real strides.
A Mix of Musings
Going to the Beyoncé Concert — I’ve seen Beyoncé perform quite a few times over the years, but this time it felt different. I saw her last tour just before getting pregnant, watched the visual album while pregnant, and this time, I was seeing Cowboy Carter live, as a new mum, with three of my oldest girlfriends. Watching her with two of her daughters on stage, flipping to then riding a mechanical bull? SHE’S ICONIC.
Reading about TIME’s Reclaiming Motherhood — Not to get too political here, but I found this TIME article incredibly thought-provoking. It explores the complicated, often conflicting lens through which society now views motherhood and the intensity of how we’re expected to experience it. It’s a powerful read, and I’d love to hear your thoughts.
Following Artists and Mothers — This nonprofit is doing incredible work supporting NYC-based artists who are also mothers. They offer nine-month childcare grants to women with kids under three, and their interview series on Instagram is full of vulnerability and inspiration. Highly recommend giving them a follow!
Mama’s Milestones
Ellen Reed | Mama of 1
The other morning, my 2 year old woke me up by stroking my face and saying ‘mummy, love you’* for the first time. After a very intense two years of breastfeeding, co-sleeping and still no through-the-nights yet, it felt like biggest reward that somehow made all of that disappear. A sweet reminder of how our little ones have the wonderful power to do just that. *he did pick my nose and proceed to ask if I ‘ate poo’ immediately after, in the nature of being totally transparent!
Stephanie Colantonio, MD | Mama of 2
Bb’s first clinic visit to pick up mail! Also my first time driving, alone, since our belly birth. Feels like a major accomplishment. I’ll be patting myself on the back.
This small, yet huge feat feels representative of postpartum - there is so much presence and gratitude for the little things. Slept 4 hours? You’re a queen. Made it to the shower? What a rockstar.
Here for all the little wins, with big gratitude 🤍
What do you think? Comment below or email/message me with your musings, and I’d love to feature them if you’re open to it!