006 The Seasons of Life, Overtouched and Pregnancy Reflection
Your bi-weekly source of inspiration as we navigate the journey of motherhood. Think chicken soup for "mommy brain".
I committed to keeping Motherhood Muses bi-weekly, but this post is now over a week late. And though I’m know my readers aren’t eagerly awaiting each post every other Wednesday, it felt like a personal challenge that I set for myself. If I love writing and it’s something I’m do for me, surely I should be able to find the time to make it happen every two weeks?
Of course, it doesn’t work like that. The past few weeks have been a rollercoaster as I tried to do it all—taking on far too much personally and professionally— and this post was one of the easier things to deprioritize.
But better late than never… so here’s the sixth Motherhood Muses.
Thank you for reading, and enjoy!
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The Seasons of Life
It took me a moment to realize, but for the first time since being a mum, I was burnt out. While I had been juggling trying to be it all settling into my new identity as a mother (Post 005!), I hadn’t paid attention to how-time consuming it was to also do it all.
I was deeply enjoying everything I was doing—baby classes, meeting friends, hosting family, working on set for a client photoshoot, etc—so I didn’t quite recognize how much it was taking out of me. Looking back, I now see that I had been rushing to integrate my new mom life into my old one.
Then I came across an idea that shifted my perspective:
The key to motherhood? Embracing your Season of Life.
Just like the changing seasons of the year, women experience cycles and seasons throughout their lives too. It’s a constantly evolving journey, much like the way we move through different stages of the years. (Now I’m realizing the meaning behind “In my [X] era”!)
Recognizing our season as mothers can provide the perspective that we often lack when we’re moving too quickly through the day-to-day.
Before trying for a baby, I became fascinated by the natural cycles of female ovulation and the rhythm of women’s bodies. Now I see that acknowledging and accepting my season is an extension of that. Each season has its own purpose, and none are meant to last forever.
The psyches and souls of women have their own cycles and seasons of doing and solitude, running and staying, being involved and being removed, questions and resting, creating and incubating, being of the world and returning to the soul-place. Dr. Clarissa Pinkola Estés
So here I am, in my new Season. If I had to make a comparison, I’d say it feels like Spring—a time of initiation, new energy, exploration, learning. And I also like the thought that it means Hot Girl Summer could be next.
Bloom where you’re planted.
What does "embracing your Season" look like for you?
What "season" do you feel like you're in right now?
Even though the below is about work, I’m including it here as food for thought (shout out, Ben Lee).
A Mix of Musings
Artistic Expressions of Motherhood—I’ve always loved art, but my appreciation has deepened for pieces that expresses the motherhood journey. I came across the incredibly talented Madaline Donahue who—as The Cut put it— “captures the ecstasy and agony of being a mom”. Check her work out!
Switching off and tuning in at a spa—It’s amazing how refreshed you can feel from just 60 mins at a spa. My sister introduced me to Othership last week (shout out Tara!) which has saunas, ice baths, guided meditation and sound healing sessions. I highly, highly recommend it for anyone in or visiting New York. I only went into the ice bath half way as I’m breastfeeding but think that’s a lucky escape given they are the coldest commercial ice baths in the US. Still, it’s such a perfect place to reset. Bathhouse is also incredible.
Reading Why Don’t We Talk About the Joys of Motherhood Anymore by Faye Keegan—This feature digs into the negative narrative around motherhood and the reasons why people tend to focus on the struggles rather than the joys. I loved reading this as it’s really fascinating to me—I’m all for the open and honest narrative around motherhood but let’s also chat about the joys too!
Mamas’ Milestones
Katie Rappaport | Mama of 2
Being elected class parent for my daughter's class felt so daunting to me because my day to day work schedule is hectic at best. But I said yes, knowing it would make my daughter beyond happy and proud to see my name on that list. While the thought of arts and crafts in school has always filled me with dread, I managed to plan and prep a Halloween activity and steer nineteen six year olds to make spooky lanterns, all before 10am. There's something about sticky glue and smiling kids that made me realize it's OK to be messy sometimes. In art and in life.
Hannah Coughlin | New Mama of a 1 Month old
I would have enjoyed pregnancy if I knew who it was I would be getting at the end of it and how rewarding it would be. What a clueless fool. If you’re pregnant and struggling, hang in there. He’s my greatest achievement.
Marina McMurray | Mama of 1
The thought alone of traveling with a baby gives me anxiety. Thankfully, any trips we’ve taken have had grandparents on the other end but, for the first time last week, we traveled as a family of three to London. Sure, flying with a 13 month old should be an Olympic sport and the change tables in aeroplane bathrooms are way too small, but by tackling it side by side with my husband and a few mimosas, we made it to our destination and had an incredible time. We took our son out for lunches and a Sunday roast, and he had a blast. We took him out on a day full of tourist adventures, including seeing Buckingham Palace, Big Ben and Hyde Park. He might not remember a thing of this trip but it still felt so heartwarming and special to share such precious moments together and for him to meet so many of our friends living there. And while trips typically throw routine out the window, this was another reminder of how adaptable babies are. It’s also just the reminder I needed to keep enjoying things like travel because those memories are priceless.
Responses to 005 The Identity of Motherhood
Natalie Filson | Mother of 1
As I navigate the journey of reinventing myself as a mother, I had just started to feel comfortable with the “mum” version of Natalie. But now, I'm taking on a new role—a working mum—and balancing the two has introduced a whole new set of challenges. The “mum guilt” is real, but why should it be? We deserve lives that extend beyond motherhood and it doesn't have to be one or the other. In fact, these past two weeks back at work have actually made me feel so much better about myself. I feel like I’ve regained a little part of my old self, a part I thought was lost forever.
This month has been one of transitions and “new versions” of myself: returning to work, my son starting nursery, and the end of breastfeeding. I’m emotionally and physically exhausted. It’s a reminder of just how much we, as mums, really do handle. And just when you think you’ve found a moment of stability, something else shifts, and suddenly, your routine is out the window!
Ending breastfeeding has been particularly emotional. I didn’t expect it to affect me this deeply, but it really did. I almost felt as if I’d failed—such a strange thought, especially since I never expected to be able to breastfeed at all. The weight of it hit me during a baby class when I saw other mums nursing. I was there with a bottle, feeling almost embarrassed, even though I’d exclusively breastfed my baby for the past eight months! Why are we so hard on ourselves!
Your writing this week about doing the DJ set really resonated with me. You were doing something for YOU and it gave you a little bit of your old self back. That's how I feel going back to work, even though I was told it was too early and my baby was too young to start nursery. We have to be selfish sometimes in motherhood in order to be the best versions of ourselves. After being completely selfless for the past 8 months, I've found energy and a happier version of "mummy Natalie" carving out some time for me.
Kiah Rae | Very New Mother of 1!
That was a huge feeling for me when I took the first pregnancy test & found out I was pregnant. I legit thought all of my dreams / life was over.. music, DJing, dance, business. All of it. Now being 2 weeks away from birth I’ve learned it’s quite the opposite, that my identity isn’t “Mom”, it’s not even “Kīah”, I simply AM, just a human, being, LOVE.
I’ve seen some mothers “lose” themselves, but perhaps what truly happens is they find another side of themself that doesn’t need much from this world than her family. At the end of the day, we cannot change our soul vibration, WHO WE ARE AT THE CORE, regardless of the external, and thats relieving.
What do you think? Comment below or email/message me with your musings, and I’d love to feature them if you’re open to it!